Sunday, 30 July 2017

20 perspectives on life at 20


As much as I am in disbelief, I have in fact reached 20, or as I prefer to say, 'twenteen'. Although this is still a pretty ripe age, and in no way do I consider myself to be a wise life coach, I do feel as though through the years I have been through a number of ups, and a few downs. And so, after some cogitation, I have configured a list of 20 of my current perspectives on life.

1.  Fear is a force which is exclusive within our own minds, which when listened to can hold you back from reaching your full potential.
“We were scared but our fear wasn’t as strong as our courage”- Malala Yousafzai. i.e. fear can be a pretty powerful force but courage is a force to be reckoned with. This is something that I really believe in, as the reason why I didn't start this blog earlier was due to fear counteracting any moments of courage that I had. Until, one day I realised the only thing deterring me from doing what I wanted to do was myself, and thought fuck it, I think I can write reasonably well and I love doing it, so why am I holding myself back?

2. Life is too short to hold grudges over people.
   Carrying the excess baggage of what negative people have said to you will just bring you down. I know that I will never fully forgive my Dad and his family for the things they have done, and how hurt I have been in the past. For years I have spent time thinking is there actually something wrong with me that my own dad doesn't want to know me, but then I thought no that's not the case, he's the one that is missing out on raising one legend of a human and I'm doing the best without that negativity. I am finally learning to not hold a grudge over it but to just cut it all out in order to live my life to the fullest.

3. Differences aren’t a bad thing
Being constantly surrounded by people that are so likeminded to you does not teach you anything new. Some of my best friends are the complete opposites in characters to me, but its great because it creates balance and broadens your horizons as you take on their views.

4. People don't often actually listen to your advice when they ask for it.
The case is that they’re actually just seeking for words that they want to hear with the hope that they will receive justification for their actions.

5. Thinking like a lawyer.
I have recently read a book titled "think like a lawyer don't act like one" and gained a new outlook. This means considering things from a critical standpoint, and engaging with more judgment and reason. The power of silence is something that particularly caught my attention, as the book explains how silence can be used as a prime negotiating power. Sometimes taking the back seat can bring you to the forefront.

6. “You have all the time in the world”.
Throughout school and society in general you are given deadlines and expectations that you need to accomplish something by a certain age, and so this can make you feel pressured, thinking why haven’t I achieved this yet? But it is important to remember that you have no expiry date, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. I’ve seen a cute elderly man on the 4th floor library doing his essay reading on a Sunday, which just shows you’re never too old to do anything.

7. Memes make the world a better place 

8. Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up not throw you down.
Having been to 8 different schools and 1 university in my life, its safe to say that I’m used to meeting new people, and although its meant that I haven’t had the opportunity to make lifelong friendships with people I’ve known since I was 4, its allowed me to learn about how people behave and what I want from a friendship.
I’m lucky in that I have met so many amazing people at Uni, and I couldn’t imagine the smack Thursdays, Neon Fridays, dungeon parties, and campus being the same without them. I feel like I spread myself a bit thinner in first year in order to meet as many people as possible, and although I still talk to the large majority, I have grown closer to a group of friends this year who have become like family to me. I feel grounded knowing that I have my best friends at home, but also whilst I’m at Uni I have such a strong support system and I couldn't imagine myself living with anyone else.

9. "Work hard play hard"
Balance is key, there’s no point in just working all day, every day because you just end up isolating yourself. There have obviously been times when I've thought I was an absolute machine, got a bit too carried away with tequila shots, ended up in a slight state of inebriation and then spent the next day questioning my existence. However, I am so determined to limit the amount of time spent procrastinating or going out next year (Em, Soph and Anna if you're reading, third time's a charm)

10. Taking a walk and listening to music can be the best cure of all problems.

11. Not taking life so seriously.
This is probably the lesson I try to practice most.  I’ve been told a number of times that I’m extremely laid back and chilled but that doesn’t mean that I’m not on my game when it comes to important things, it just means I don’t stress about little things. Life is so much enjoyable if you just go with the flow. After all, time is of the essence, and today is the last day you will be this young, so as cliché as it sounds, you only live once so do it right.

12. Take peoples words with a pinch of salt.
I never trust people completely because ultimately, everyone is for themselves.

13. Texting, tinder and small talk needs to stop being so hyped.
My friends get annoyed at me when I tell them I don’t want to talk to someone who has just given me their number or if I’ve just cut off a conversation with someone after 2 days, but the fact is, small talk to me is like long talk. I have a barrier up as a defence mechanism against guys mainly because of my Dad, and I don't want to get hurt by investing my time in people. I’m a pretty stubborn person so it’s taken a lot for me to admit that lol. Id rather talk to someone in person than through a phone, so on the rare occasion that I do hold a texting conversation for more than a couple of days, then I genuinely find that person interesting and its a big deal for me to not have pushed them away, so I should receive a gold star.

14. Don’t rely on others to make your life feel fulfilled.
You are the driver of your own life, and being in friendships and relationships just to make you feel fulfilled are pointless. You need to enjoy the journey to the destination that you want for yourself, not others.

 15. Being fully present in the moment
   Be a human being, not a human doing. In the rush of life its easy to focus way too much on wanting new things and over thinking rather than just being in the present moment and enjoying the current state.

16. Stand up for what you believe in.
  Your values are what make you, and just because you don’t follow the crowd it doesn’t mean that you’re wrong. Personally, I feel that trust and loyalty to yourself is the paramount of importance, and in the words of Thomas Jefferson “In matters of style, swim with the current, in matters of principle stand like a rock”. Being able to solidify and stand up for your own principles takes strength from within, and as Dalai Lama expresses, "knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom".

17.    Happiness is all in the palm of your hand.
Happiness isn't a ready-made concept, nor does it come with an instruction manual, it’s the result of your own actions. It is up to you whether you think pragmatically and take on challenges that have knocked you back and be an inspiration to yourself, or sit around complaining that you are unhappy but not making effective changes.

18.    God has a reason for everything .

19. Big or small, lies are lies.
I cannot explain how much I value honesty. I would rather hear the most brutal words come out of someone’s mouth rather than have them lie or ignore me to avoid saying it how it is. It’s not hard to tell someone the truth even if you think they don't want to hear it.

20. "The world is your oyster".
There is no numerical limit on how many things you can do in your life. For example, just because you study a specific degree it doesn’t mean you can't have an interest in other subjects. When I studied microbiology, people used to be shocked when I told them because of the fact that I have an interest in stereotypical girly things such as clothes and makeup, which apparently means that I cant nerd over dissecting a heart, or enjoy reading the biography of cancer. As mentioned in my previous post, I realised science wasn’t the route for me, and I am now studying sociology, but along side this, drawing and photography are also my hobbies. There is literally no cap on your knowledge or abilities, and the limit on the number of possibilities out there for you are down to your own perceptions.


So, to finish, stay true to yourself and your own principles, but now and again, take a step back and look at life from a different perspective. Don't simply look at things as black or white because that is just staying within the contours of extremism, and there are so many grey areas. What came first, the chicken or the egg? “Look at situations from all angles and you will become more open”- Dalai Lama.

Thank you so much for reading 



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3 comments

  1. A very insightful, humble post. So glad you took up blogging after wanting to do it for so long- I was the same! Keep at it! x

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